As I tearfully make my way through the valley of suicide grief, this thought has come to me: suicide feels like a broken promise.
One unspoken promise I’ve felt was broken is, “We will never do this to each other again.” Years ago our family grieved the suicide death of someone else we dearly loved. And now we are once more on that rugged journey. My heart cries, “I don’t want to go through this again. This path is too long, too hard.”
If I keep my eyes on the promise my loved one seemed to break rather than on the One who keeps every promise He makes, I start to sink.
If I focus on promises contained in God’s Word and embrace them for myself and my life, I actually feel joy—even in the midst of my sorrow. Yes this precious loved one and others in my life have broken promises. My husband has broken promises. My children have. So have my friends. I have broken promises as well—even promises I have made to myself.
But I am reminded as I seek God’s comfort, that He in His faithfulness is incapable of breaking a promise.
Years ago, I wrote an acronym for the word hope. It said, HOPE = Holding Onto Promises Expectantly. Hope is not about reading, reciting, or memorizing promises in God’s Word. It is about holding onto them—believing with all my heart that they are for me and if I haven’t experienced them yet, they will come to be.
Here are several of the scores of promises God holds out to me:
Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 NIV
I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. John 14:203 NASB
You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You…Isaiah 26:3 NKJV
These promises will never fade. As I hold to them, they calm and comfort me. When I let them wash over me, they replace the waves of sadness, and I feel safe.
Father, thank You for Your precious promises that are found in Your Word. Help me to fully believe them and receive them. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
Will you join me in praying that prayer as you grieve over broken promises?