Prayer is not about getting my way, but about getting myself out of the way.
This thought came to mind yesterday as I contemplated the wonder of prayer.
Prayer has been key to holding me up and holding me together as I grieve.
I’m celebrating that unlike during past crises, I haven’t backed off from praying. When my sister took her life 32 years ago, I battled with “Why pray?” My anger was, “I prayed for her healing from schizophrenia, and then she died.”
“She’s healed now that she’s in heaven,” people said.
The healing I wanted was in the here and now.
I felt the same way about my brother when someone said, “He’s in heaven—healed.”
But instead of backing away from God because I didn’t get my way, I’ve moved closer.
Here’s part of a prayer which I had in my computer devotions. I prayed it after my brother’s back surgery that brought him to a place of agonizing pain. “Lord, give him courage. Let him turn to You during this difficult time of recovery. Thank You for using this time for his good and for Your glory. Touch him spiritually and let him know that touch came from You.”
Lately I’ve prayed that prayer for myself as I grieve his suicidal death. “Lord, give me courage. Let me turn to You during this difficult time of recovery. Thank You for using this time for my good and for Your glory. Touch me spiritually and let me know that touch comes from You.” I’ve also prayed this prayer for family.
As I’ve stayed connected to God, praying the above prayer, Scripture prayers, pouring-my-heart-out prayers as well as short prayers like, “Calm me,” “Help, Lord,” “Please intervene,” God has touched me.
Prayer brings me from feeling perturbed to feeling peaceful. These verses affirm that:
…The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:5-7 NASB
Prayer truly is the pathway to peace and to getting myself out of the way, so I can see and sense God. I am calmed because in this place of connecting to Him called prayer, I’m reminded He is still my Lord and my Strength, and He knows how I feel.
He too has a loved One who died in a tragic way.
Are you staying connected to God through prayer despite grief and loss?