Control Freak–Be Free

Not long ago someone in my life called me a control freak. I hated to admit I had slipped back into trying to control the actions, words, and even thoughts of a loved one.

As I contemplated my backslide, I learned control freakishness happens when it seems God is doing nothing, and I determine that I must take actions into my own hands—especially when a person is doing something negative that affects me.

I looked up “control freak” online.

Wikipedia told me this: “In psychology-related slang, control freak is a derogatory term for a person who attempts to dictate how everything around them is done.”

In her article “8 Signs You’re a Control Freak” Shelley Prevost states, “Control freaks …believe they are helping people with their ‘constructive criticism’…

They don’t see their controlling behaviors as symptoms of what’s really going on–their own anxiety has run amuck.

Rather than tackle our own irrational thinking and massage it into more realistic thinking, we attempt to control the situation, usually by trying to control other people.

You believe that if you can change another person’s undesirable behavior, then you will be happier or more fulfilled.” (If you want to read the 8 signs, look for Shelley’s article online.)

I could relate to all of the above.

At the base of my trying to take control is fear. Deep down I’m afraid things will turn out badly if I don’t intervene and do something—take control.  

What does the Bible say about control? Is the word even there? What I realized is that every time the Word of God speaks of trusting the Lord, it is telling me, “Stop trying to be in control.” I think of Proverbs 3:5-6

 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

When I read that recently what it said to me is: Elaine, trust in the Lord with all your heart, and stop trying to take control of people and circumstances. Do not lean on your own understanding which will lead you to think you know better than God. In all your ways acknowledge Him rather than thinking that your way is right and good. If you do this, He will show you which way to go.

It occurs to me that when someone hurts me, my trying to control how that person views the rejection is just as sinful as the rejection because controlling behaviors tends to involve anger and criticism.

Although people who hurt us can justify and minimize, it’s still wrong to badger others to repent. Convicting and convincing is God’s job.  

Here are some ways to get back onto the road of freedom when it comes to controlling:

–Confess that trying to control is sin.

–Determine to trust in the Lord.

–Maintain an attitude of gratitude.

–Spend time in God’s Word and in prayer.

Lately this has been the proclamation of my heart, “God, You are in control. Free me from trying to be.”  

Are you willing to declare that with me?

To hear more about “Control Freak, Be Free” listen to my radio show, “Hearts Set Free with Elaine” on Sunday, September 1st at 7:00am. Go to and press “Listen Live.” Or go to the archives later to listen at your leisure. To get there, go to, click on shows, scroll down and click on Hearts Set Free. Then go to the bottom of the page and click on the show you want to listen to. God bless you as You allow God to set you free.


About elainecreasman

I am a freelance writer and inspirational speaker. Since 1986 I have led the Suncoast Christian Writers Group.
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2 Responses to Control Freak–Be Free

  1. Elaine, love this quote…”It occurs to me that when someone hurts me, my trying to control how that person views the rejection is just as sinful as the rejection because controlling behaviors tends to involve anger and criticism.”…so true…amen!

  2. Pauline says:

    Well said, Elaine. Working on that myself.

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