“Lord, I’m worn out by my job, and I’m weary of the evils in this world,” I proclaimed to the Lord yesterday.
It especially hurt to think about how the evil in the world was affecting my family members and loved ones.
I had been attempting to live in the present instead of ruminating over the past and dreading the future. But the truth that bombarded me was this: there is pain in the present.
As I thought of all that was happening in the present and my inability to change the circumstances as well as my weaknesses in handling hard situations, the word that came to mind was brokenness.
At the core of my brokenness was this truth: “I’m not all that I desire to be, those I love are not all I desire them to be, and there’s nothing I can do about it. “ At first sadness concerning this overwhelmed me.
But God whispered Romans 8:28 to my soul:
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. ESV
I could see how He had brought good out of so many difficult situations in my life. My childhood hurts had led me to help others overcome theirs and work in mental health. Difficulties in our marriage had led to me write numerous articles to help others find healing through the Lord as I called out to God in the midst of hopelessness.
The Lord reassured me that the difficulties I was presently facing were also working together for good—even though I couldn’t see how at the moment.
Today I turned on Youtube and listened to songs that had to do with brokenness. I was reminded that brokenness can lead me to a better place in my Christian walk.
One site online presented this on the subject: “Genuine brokenness realizes its dependency on Christ and humbles itself to repent and follow hard after God.”
I realized I spent too much time trying to fix situations instead of fixing my eyes on the Lord. And I had been doing this for years and kept slipping back into it.
But on the other side of repenting of this—again—I experienced joy. Tears of joy streamed down my face as I embraced the fact that God knows my weaknesses and loves me anyway. He is not surprised by my tendency to want to do things my way and try to make something happen. And He is there to comfort me and lead me on when I feel broken over how I haven’t been dedicated to His way and to trusting Him.
One good thing I’ve learned over the years is that when I feel broken over my sinfulness, I need to move toward the Lord instead of away from Him. He is always there to embrace me in His arms of mercy. This promise from Scripture is beautiful:
…a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Psalm 51:17
How about you? Are you willing to come to the Lord in the midst of brokenness? What joy you will experience as you turn to Him.
Here is a song I heard for the first time today. It expresses so well where my heart is right now. I pray you will be blessed by it as well.
It is “In Brokenness, I Come To You” sung by Esther Mui