Dealing With Cons and Cares

Recently when I felt badly rejected by those I love, I realized that four individuals seem to come against me on a regular basis. There are different reasons for this—many centered on issues they have failed to deal with or bring before the Lord.

As I thought of them coming against me, these “con” words came to mind:

Contrariness: the quality of being someone who intentionally wants to disagree with and annoy other people.

Condescension: behaving in a way which shows you consider yourself to be better or more intelligent than other people.

Contempt: a strong feeling of lack of respect for someone or something.

Condemnation: express complete disapproval of, typically in public

Until that moment, I had not realized how often these actions were part of how these four treated me.

At first I thought How dare they? and What in the world am I going to do about this? even though this had been going on for years.

Once I got over my indignation, another thought occurred to me. In these four relationships I had acted out these four “con” words toward these people at one time or another. With two of them, it was because they had treated me that way first, and I was retaliating. The other two I hated to admit that at times I was the initiator of these behaviors because this was my response to their rebellion against the Lord.

Another “con”  on my part was that I too often tried to control these four people in an effort to get them to do or think right, and the four above actions were connected to that controlling behavior.

The bottom line is the Lord impressed on me that whether they started it or not, I was not to return evil for evil–contrariness for contrariness, condescension for condescension, contempt for contempt, condemnation for condemnation.

Here is how the Bible says it: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.” Romans 12:17 NIV

“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:9

Here is what the Lord spoke to my heart after praying about the matter: LET ME EMPOWER YOU TO STOP RETURNING EVIL FOR EVIL. THERE IS MUCH EVIL COMING YOUR WAY BECAUSE THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO CALL ON ME TO DEAL WITH HURT, AND HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE. LET ME EMPOWER YOU TO SAY NOTHING. EACH OF THESE IS INCAPABLE OF LISTENING. POUR OUT YOUR HEART TO ME. I AM LISTENING. CRY OUT TO ME. CRY YOUR TEARS BEFORE ME. DO NOT TURN TO THE THINGS OF THIS WORLD TO DEAL WITH PAIN, ANGER, OR DEPRESSION. FOOD WILL NOT HELP. BUYING THINGS WILL NOT HELP. EXERCISE PROFITS ONLY A LITTLE, BUT WILL NOT HELP TO HEAL THE DEEP HURTS OF YOUR SOUL. I WILL HELP YOU. I WILL HELP YOU. I WILL HELP YOU. I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU. I WILL UPHOLD YOU WITH THE RIGHT HAND OF MY RIGHTEOUSNESS. REJECT LIES FROM THESE FOUR FOES. RECEIVE MY TRUTH. RECEIVE MY PEACE. RECEIVE MY JOY.

This evening one of these four spoke against me in a condescending manner. Instead of retaliating, I was able to be silent and call out to the Lord and pray for this one that her hurts would be healed.

Then I thought of something I heard in a song on the radio that I need to do consistently in regard to these relationships rather than coming against those who come against me: “I will cast my cares on You.” I care about these people, and I’m hurt deeply when at moments it seems they don’t care about me. I want to fix things between us and between them and the Lord, but I can’t. It’s essential to cry out to the One who cares deeply for all of us and is able to heal me and them.

“Cast My Cares” by Finding Favour

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKuAMmTqUbs

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About elainecreasman

I am a freelance writer and inspirational speaker. Since 1986 I have led the Suncoast Christian Writers Group.
This entry was posted in Spiritual Growth and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Dealing With Cons and Cares

  1. bobbie NORRIS says:

    Love it very good advice & example. Are they hating me or the Jesus in me,? Hard to distinguish sometimes Bobbie

    • Dear Bobbie, thank you for your comment. It’s true that sometime those who are rebelling against God are against us who are determined to follow God’s will. All I know is that Jesus loved those who were against Him. And so must I.

  2. Evelyn Thomas says:

    Thank you Elaine. Dealing with cons and pros, I realize I do try and retaliate and in doing so I try and change someone. Only God can and at times I leave God out of the whole situation when He is the first one to turn to.. I will save your blog and read it a number of times and pray that God will also put a guard over my mouth.. God bless you.

  3. Fran Sandin says:

    Elaine, thank you for your insights on the “cons”. Rather than thinking about others who had conflict with me, I was thinking about some heart attitudes I had toward someone else that caused problems in our relationship. I discovered that I was so interested in presenting my point of view that I had inadvertently allowed disrespect to creep into my heart (contempt). I had also spoken to another about the situation (condemnation). My pride was leaning me toward condescension.
    Your article prompted me to humbly ask the Lord’s forgiveness. Thank you for sharing your insights.
    I wanted you to know it made a difference in my life. Fran

    • Dear Fran, thank you so much for your comment and your honesty. It thrills me that what I wrote has made a difference in your everyday life. And it encourages me that my hard times and writing about them can change the lives of others. Because of this, God gets the glory during hard times, and the enemy is defeated. Take care and God bless. Love, Elaine

  4. judithbeckman says:

    Thank you, Elaine. This is what I need at this time to clarify what is happening in these situations. I appreciate your Word from the Lord so that I can respond according to His will. The Lord knows I am sensitive to this kind of treatment from a couple of people in my life, but it helps when I tell myself their attitudes do not diminish me. The Lord also tells me to stop worrying about what people think of me, loving people according to His will, and let the chips fall where they may.

    • Dear Judith, thank you for your comment. We are all challenged when others treat us in unfair ways. I remember that my Bible study teacher used to tell us to say out loud or in our minds, “I do not receive that,” when others make cruel, untrue judgments about us. May God bless you as you seek to respond His way. Showing love when others don’t is what makes us more like God.

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