Remember When

This year marks 40 years since I received Jesus as my Savior.

A song I heard lately reminded me of my messed up heart and life before I knew the Lord. One quest I devoted myself to before embracing Jesus centered on looking for perfect love from others rather than from Him. What a joy to experience His extravagant love for me.

God brings me back on a regular basis to a glimpse of my past, so I will extend mercy and grace to people who remain locked in dead end lives where they live for themselves and act the fool like I did way back when. (The Bible defines a fool as someone who says or acts like God doesn’t exist. See Psalm 14:1)

Not too many days ago one of these fools who lives life as if no God exists called our home to tell of the dire consequences of his continued journey on the path of destruction. Repeatedly in the past my husband and I reached out to him with the good news of the Gospel and wisdom from the Lord, which he rejected. Now he calls to say over and over, “I don’t know what to do; I’m so scared.” Still, he voices no desire for a walk with God—just an escape from the consequences of his vile choices, which he blames on others.

At this moment as I write this blog, this person who continues to reject the Lord called again. As we talk, he makes excuse after excuse for not doing the next right thing.

Despite all he faces, he still seems unable to humble himself and allow God to take charge of his life. He says, “I want to,“ but when I suggest what he can do to get right with God, He refuses.

The first prayer I prayed for him is, “God, have mercy on his soul.”

The next one: “God, break down his walls of resistance, so he can say ‘yes,’ to you instead of ‘yes’ to all these wrong decisions and deadly mindsets.

As I speak to him, I realize people who make wrong choices form a habit which seems impossible to break.

He keeps saying, I’m scared; I’m scared,” but it seems what frightens him most centers on being afraid to do the right thing, afraid of not being in charge even though his “I can run my own life” stance brought him to this place of desperation.

He wails, “I need to come over and talk.”

“OK,” I say.

On numerous other occasions my husband and I heard words of desperation from him, but they failed to lead to repentance. Instead he developed an urgency to depend on us to get his immediate needs met. But in the end it led to using and abusing, lying and betrayal and a continued dedication to the enemy and his ways.

Father God, speak through us when he arrives. Give us grace and mercy and wisdom. Open his blind eyes. Unstop his deaf ears.

Thank You, Lord, for the freedom I have because I said “yes” to you 40 years ago. Give this man courage to say “yes” to you—courage to allow You to be in charge, courage to receive Your love. Help him to see himself as You see him and to see You as You are.

Help him to see himself as a fool. Humble him enough to realize the only cure for foolishness lies with You. In Jesus’ precious name I pray. Amen.

To be continued…

“When Love Broke” Through by Toby Mac


About elainecreasman

I am a freelance writer and inspirational speaker. Since 1986 I have led the Suncoast Christian Writers Group.
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