Why Doesn’t My Husband Love Me Anymore?

It’s Hearts Set Free Marriage Miracle Monday.

“I run in the paths of your commands, for you have set my heart free.” (Psalm 119:32 NIV 1984)

Hello friends of Hearts Set Free. One of my passions is to help wives move toward hearts set free, so they can continue to love their husbands through hard times. God miraculously healed our marriage, so I know He has power to heal. I believe His healing power is for anyone willing to receive it. Your spouse may not be willing, but if you are the first to believe for God’s healing power to heal your heart, amazing things can happen. Once a month I will have a Marriage Miracle Monday story to share. These stories are true. I have changed the names to protect privacy. Maybe you’re not going through a hard time in your marriage, but you know someone else who is. Please pass the stories along to bring help and hope to those who feel there is no hope. For every marriage that’s healed, God receives glory.

Why Doesn’t My Husband Love Me Anymore?

Karen wrote about a difficult time nine years into her 30-year marriage when she wondered, Why doesn’t Peter love me anymore?

“I glanced over my menu at Peter, seated on the opposite side of the booth. His dark-blonde hair still waved over his forehead. His blue eyes, always twinkling with humor while we were dating, now looked empty. What’s happening to us?

“Peter’s three years as associate pastor in a large city church had changed him. Physically he had altered little from the slender, handsome man I had married nine years before. The church members looked up to him in more ways than one—often teasing him about his six-foot-plus height—but in my eyes he had shrunk somehow.”

When Karen helped a friend who was divorcing to find an apartment, these thoughts went through her head: How can I possibly afford to live alone? What would the church people think if I left Peter? How has our relationship deteriorated to the point that I’d even consider divorce? At this crossroad, many women do leave their marriages—even Christian women like Karen.

One evening Karen zeroed in on the problem in their relationship: “Can’t you just stay home with me tonight?”

“You know I have to be at every church meeting. Ron is always there, and he expects me to be there too.”

“Maybe Ron’s wife is used to it. Besides, she’s home all day. I work from eight to five, and at night you’re in meetings! I’m sick of your being gone all the time. We never see each other. You give yourself to everyone else and have nothing left for me!”

Another evening, at an in-home Bible study Peter led, upset about the need to fake a smile all the time, Karen drove home instead of going inside, leaving her husband to find his own ride home. Back at home she relates: “I took a long, hot bath, hoping to soak away my pain and confusion about our marriage. Peter has abandoned me too, but what right do I have to complain? He has abandoned me to do God’s work.”

Rather than walk out on the marriage, Karen urged Peter to attend counseling with her, where she discovered serious issues lingered from his childhood.  For a time they separated; Peter lived elsewhere while he worked on his issues. After reuniting, Karen recalled their tenth anniversary: “Peter and I drove to a special restaurant to celebrate our tenth anniversary and our renewed love for each other. ‘Let’s open our gifts in the car,’ he suggested. ‘Yours first.’

“I unwrapped a tiny jeweler’s box to find a gold necklace with two intertwining gold hearts. ‘Our hearts, our love,’ Peter said. ‘We’re going to make it, aren’t we?’

He pulled me close to him. “I love you so much.”

Karen’s renewed love for her husband came through courage, patience, and compassion. She won that serious, “I don’t love him anymore” battle and continued to love and encourage her husband through their 30-year marriage. She and her husband faced more hardships as their marriage continued, but through depending on the Lord, Karen loved her husband for better or worse until his death parted them.

“Love Is Not A Fight” by Warren Barfield

About elainecreasman

I am a freelance writer and inspirational speaker. Since 1986 I have led the Suncoast Christian Writers Group.
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