God has healed my marriage, and I love to tell people about His miracle-working power. I also like to hear from others about how God worked a miracle in their marriages. Here is another story of a marriage miracle. The story is true, but the names have been changed. May you too believe God for your marriage miracle.
The Compassionate Wife
Beverly embraced the virtue of “a compassionate wife.” This year she and her husband, Jason, mark 40some years of marriage, quite an accomplishment considering their many hurdles. Jason entered the marriage with a negative self-image and after dealing with the sense that both of his parents rejected him. Poverty governed his younger years, leading to shame when people came to his home. Emotional issues lingered. Over his married life, he stuffed his anger and turned inward. At times he voiced suicidal thoughts.
“Codependence made me think I was responsible to rescue him—to pull him back from the edge of the cliff,” said Beverly.
Over time, she learned simply to say compassionately to herself, “He has a problem,” It reminded her she didn’t cause nor could she cure his issues.
She frequently encouraged her husband to seek help from a counselor, but he refused, so she went alone to one who told her, “Get outside of your marriage house and look inside through the window and get perspective.” This helped her accept her husband, and her expectation of change ceased. She came to view acceptance, which is part of compassion, as a gift from God.
“I learned to see my marriage and even my marriage problems as a gift,” she says. She saw that “whatever he had been through was what brought him to the place he was in our marriage.”
Beverly, an adoptee herself, dealt with abandonment issues, which enabled her to empathize with her husband’s abandonment in childhood. Her attitude toward Jason became: “There but for the grace of God, go I.” When issues came up in their marriage, she kept in mind both their backgrounds of rejection. She discovered unconditional love as her husband’s biggest need from her
Out of compassion, Beverly prays for her husband. “I picture Jesus, my Shepherd, in the green pasture of the 23rd Psalm. I take my husband by the hand. I walk out to the meadow, the green pasture, and I place my husband’s hand in Jesus’ hand knowing that He is sovereign. He loves me, and He loves Jason more than I do. He has a plan, a hope, and a future for each of us. As I walk away, thanking God for how He is working in my life and in my husband’s life, I experience a feeling of peace.”
The sudden death of a friend at age 48 increased Beverly’s compassion for her husband.
“This could be my last day. I want my last words to Jason to be loving words. I want to give him a loving embrace. I want to finish well,” she relates.
Beverly sees signs of healing within Jason as he plays with his first grandchild. She observes him experiencing deep joy. She learned the joy of compassion sufficient to place unconditional love above being loved.