Today’s monthly marriage miracle story is an article I wrote today as I reflected on the miracles God has worked in our marriage. Often I did the opposite of what I have on my list here of what to do as you’re waiting for your marriage miracle. Thankfully, God repeatedly led me back to doing the actions that would keep the door open for Him to work His wonders on our marriage. And He did, and still does. I’m praying for you for strength, hope, peace, and joy as you wait for Your marriage miracle.
If you have a marriage miracle story to share with me, I’d love to hear it. I have used all the marriage miracle stories I had in months past, so I need some new ones. You can write out your story, or call me and I will interview you and write the story for you. Ask God if He wants you to share your miracle with others wives, so they can have hope for healing. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org to share your marriage miracle story with me. If you do share your story, I will give you a free marriage book to continue to encourage you in your marriage.
Here’s this month’s story: While You’re Waiting For Your Marriage Miracle
I meet many wives in troubled marriages who without realizing it set out on a course that make marriage matters worse and eventually lead to divorce. One mindset that comes up is this: I’m tired of waiting. Here are some actions to take while you’re waiting for your marriage miracle.
–Pray. I’m surprised by the number of women in difficult marriages who confess that they have stopped praying for their husband and their marriage. Some report that they’ve tried that course, and it doesn’t work. They forget God’s command to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17 KJV) Prayer may not bring about an immediate change in your spouse, but over time it will. Also, prayer changes a wife’s attitude toward her spouse.
–Be in The Word. It can be a temptation to look at worldly books, TV shows, or secular wisdom on social media to find answers for hard times in our marriages. These lead us away from the Lord and from a godly attitude about marriage. Most run along this theme, “It’s all about me.” I like what a speaker said at a seminar when she spoke about marriage. “My marriage is not all about me. It’s all about God and what He wants to do in and through me.” The first four words of the previous sentence tell what it’s all about: It’s all about God. Being in the Word reminds me of that truth.
–Forgive. Often when a woman says, “I’m tired of waiting,” another “I’m tired of…” statement is not far behind: “I’m tired of forgiving.” I’ve been there many times and have even convinced myself that it was my forgiveness that kept my husband’s bad behavior toward me going. Forgiveness not only helps your marriage, but it helps your physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
–Be kind. One woman I know decided that she would stop being kind to her husband until he changed. She stopped cooking, cleaning up after him, and doing his laundry. She spoke no kind words to him. Instead of this causing him to examine his life and transform his behaviors, it caused him to conclude, “My wife no longer loves me. It’s time we moved on.” Kindness toward our spouse is not something that he must earn or deserve. It’s part of being like Christ. And when we show Christlike kindness, we set up an atmosphere for change. Even if our kindness doesn’t change our spouse, it keeps our hearts from becoming hard.
–Say something good to and about your spouse. Often in hard times we become blind to the good qualities in our spouse. Instead, we tell our spouse and anyone who will listen how he’s letting us down and not loving us in the way we feel we deserve to be loved. The more we complain, the worse we feel and the more negative our attitude becomes. I meet some wives who always have a good word to say to and about their spouse, even when I can see so many flaws in the man they married. One wife I know calls her husband, “my sweetheart” when she talks about him to keep a positive attitude toward him.
–Love your spouse where he’s at. One day I realized what can set up a spouse to have an affair. A wife tells him everything that’s wrong with him, doesn’t say loving words or show love, and has an attitude of “I’d love you if you’d change.” Then he meets someone who has this attitude toward him: “I like you just the way you are.” Determine not to hold back love from your spouse. One way we hold back is when we think of a loving action to do for him, and then follow it with this negative thought, I’m not going to do that. He doesn’t deserve it. Ask the Lord, “What loving action can I do for my spouse today?” Then do it—no matter how you feel.
Marriage is hard, but the hard times build strength in us. As we keep our focus on the Lord and on the blessings we have in our marriage, we keep the door open for a marriage miracle. God wants to give each of us a miracle in our marriage, but first He wants to work a miracle in us. Doing the right thing even when our spouse doesn’t is one miracle the Lord desires to work in our hearts. Then instead of saying, “I’m tired of waiting,” we decide this: “I will wait upon the Lord as I pray, stay in the Word, forgive, be kind, say something good, and love my husband where he’s at.”