“Lord, rescue her,” I pray fervently lately for a loved one who seems determined to rebel against every authority in her life.

The problem is she doesn’t want to be rescued.

The image which came to mind yesterday was that she struggles in the deep end of the pool, has forgotten how to swim, and refuses to grab hold of any life preserver thrown to her.

Why would she do that? I asked myself.

The reason came quickly to mind. There are people she sees as friends in the deep end of the pool with her, none of whom knows how to swim, and she doesn’t want to leave them.

Yes, they are treading water and are keeping their heads just above water with much effort, but it’s just a matter of time that they will sink. Somehow they don’t believe that.

I’ve tried to rescue her myself, but she just fights me off and shouts, “Leave me alone.”

Yesterday a song came on the radio as I thought about this loved one in need of rescue. The song sung by Rend Collective is called, “Rescuer.”

As I listened to the song, the Lord whispered a promise to me, “She may not want to be rescued right now, but I will rescue you.”

I thought of what I needed rescuing from which related to this loved one’s struggles: fear, worry, trying to control, devising my own feeble attempts at rescue, depression, blame, shame, unforgiveness, judging, negativity and more.

So today I changed my prayer, “Lord, rescue me.”

Right now I confess the sins I’ve given in to as I deal with this crisis.

I apply the words to the song by Rend Collective to me and to my struggle. I grabthe life preserver the Lord is throwing out to me. I am allowing Him to bring me back to the place of faith in Him, of believing His promises, and holding to His Word. I determine not to give up on prayer, even though it seems the more I have pray, the worse things get.

One promise which came to mind today is this one: “You will keep him in perfect peace,
whose mind is stayed on You…” (Isaiah 26:3).

I listened to more songs on the radio yesterday after the Rend Collective song, which lifted my spirit and reminded me of God’s faithfulness. How often He has rescued others I prayed for–in His way and in His time. I knew He was able to do it again. I no longer needed to see myself as the rescuer. Only He could rescue her from this place of defiance and disobedience.

As I sense God rescuing me from these negative responses to this loved one’s rebellion, I feel one emotion well up in me for her: love. It’s not my love, but the love of the Lord. I thought of the many times I was the rebellious one and how He loved me through it all and how He forgave me and helped me and once He had transformed me, He showed me how I could help those who had grabbed the life preserver to return to living a godly life. I’ve done this through my writing, through mentoring, and through public speaking.

I’m not going to stop praying for God to rescue my loved one, but I am going to stop trying to be the rescuer, and I’m going to let go of my negative thoughts toward this dear one who needs rescuing.

Once again my trust in the Lord is being tested.

Today I choose to keep trusting—even though circumstances seem dark.

I think of a song the Lord gave me years ago, which I know I shared here in the past. The Lord gave me this song during a different crisis years ago. I still believe the promise the Lord gave to me back then through that song, and I apply it to this latest crisis.

Everything will be alright.

Everything will be alright.

Morning will come

to end this night, and

everything will be alright.


Everything will be alright.

Everything will be alright.

Into this darkness,

He’ll shine His light, and

everything will be alright.

Just trust, and

everything will be alright.

God reminded me of the title of another song I wrote years ago for another rebellious loved one. I don’t remember the whole song, and I haven’t listened to it in years. (It’s on an old cassette somewhere.) That loved one is on her way back to wholeheartedly following Jesus. The title, and the words repeated over and over were, “She still belongs to Me.”

I receive that for this loved one as well.

I’m determined this moment, for the rest of today, and in the days to come to keep my eyes on the Lord, and not on all I see that’s wrong, and allow Him to keep rescuing me—even as I hold to the belief that He will rescue her.

He is able.

He is faithful.

He is trustworthy.

Rescuer (Good News) by Rend Collective


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When Tears Fall Repost

Not long ago, a friend whose husband died, unexpectantly and suddenly, told me she cried and cried over her loss. That made me think of a blog I wrote years ago—in July of 2013, where I wrote about crying in the midst of grief. Today I want to cry. Hard times have once again come upon our family. But I’m in the eating phase of my grief. I’m asking the Lord to give me the gift of tears and a determination to bring my grief to Him and receive His comfort.

Here’s the blog, “When Tears Falls” from 2013 with a song I added today. It helped me again as I reread it. I pray it will help you too if you are suffering grief from the death of a loved one or other losses.

Lately I’ve been crying at times. And it is a good thing.

One of the bondages I battle is turning to food for comfort. Since my brother died in February 2012 of suicide, I have turned back to using food to ease sorrow. The problem with this is that it can cause me to stuff my emotions down. They tend to get buried under all the ice cream, cookies, or cake that I’m eating.

Not long ago I suffered another trauma, but this time I determined not to eat for comfort as I grieved this disappointment, this heartache. The result was that I’m feeling my emotions.

I’m crying when I hurt. I’m weeping over the sin and hardened heart of my loved one. I’m shedding tears over the sin in this broken world and all the broken people I know.

In a recent article I read, I was reminded of the benefit of tears:

“Tears are your body’s release valve for stress, sadness, grief, anxiety and frustration. They…reduce stress hormones and contain antibodies that fight pathogenic microbes…crying stimulates the production of endorphins, our body’s natural pain killer and ‘feel-good’ hormones. Crying makes us feel better, even when a problem persists. In addition to physical detoxification, emotional tears heal the heart. (from “The Health Benefits of Tears” by Judith Orloff MD)

God designed our bodies this way—to leak water out of our eyes to help us deal with the emotional side of our lives. To me this is an amazing thing.

Tears can draw me closer to Him and remind me how much I need Him. I do feel a closeness to God when I cry in His presence when I pray. At those times I like to imagine Jesus holding me and weeping with me.

I think of the verse in Scripture that says:

You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book? Psalm 56:8 NKJV

There are promises in the Word involving tears that encourage me:

They who sow in tears shall reap in joy and singing. Psalm 126:5 AMP

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5 AMP

It comforts me to know that Jesus shed tears. John 11:35 has those two words:

Jesus wept.

These were tears of empathy. When people I know and love are hurting I forge a deep connection when I cry with them. I remember hearing a story about a little girl who appreciated her friend because as she put it, “She helped me cry.”

Another time that Jesus cried was when He wept over the city of Jerusalem.

And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it,  Luke 19:41

Jesus shed tears over what the people had missed and what they must go through for not submitting to Him. I’ve wept over the same thing.

Another poignant time of tears in the Bible is when Peter weeps tears of repentance. I’ve done that lately too.

…for the second time a cock crowed. And Peter remembered how Jesus said to him, Before a cock crows twice, you will utterly deny Me…three times. And having put his thought upon it [and remembering], he broke down and wept aloud and lamented. (Mark 14:72 AMP)  

I thought of negative type of tears that can cause us to go deeper into despair. They are when we cry out of self-pity, bitterness, or anger. Also we can cry to manipulate others with our tears—to try to get our own way. My goal is to cry healthy tears that cleanse and bring healing as well as a deeper connection to the Lord.

My favorite verse about tears is Revelation 21:4 (ESV)

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.

In heaven I will have no more reason to cry. I will be with Jesus, the One who loves me most. At long last I will be safe in His arms. What a glorious time and place that will be.

“Cry Out to Jesus” by Third Day



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Breaking Up With Fear

When I think of freedom, I often come back to the subject of freedom from fear.

Not long ago, I heard a song called “The Breakup Song,” where the singer belts out a tune about dealing with fear in her life.

After I listened, I realized once again fear had invaded my life. Lately, I engaged in emotional eating. I did this in an attempt somehow smother my fears with food. I felt tense at times, and fear also tried to push me into depression.

I have dealt with fears since I can remember—even as a little child.

When I became a Christian, the life verse the Lord gave me centered on fear: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NIV

Today when I looked up that verse again, I noticed the word “so,” at the beginning. So I went back to look at the previous verse.

The last part of Isaiah 41:9 states this fact from the Lord: “I have chosen you and have not rejected you.”

Often, the enemy tries to make me afraid that I don’t belong to God—that He has rejected me because of the trials and traumas in my life. But here God tells me a truth to counteract that lie, and then He gives me a command to let go of fear.

Other verses come to mind when I think of fear.

“I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

I confess at times I seek answers elsewhere when fear starts to overwhelm me. But I’ve learned over the years that only the Lord can deliver me from fear. When I speak to others, often my fears become worse—especially if I bring my fears to those who don’t have a strong faith in the Lord.

Psalm 56:3 reminds me what I need to do when fear arises. “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”

Fears come when my trust in God starts to slip. What I sometimes want is to believe that if God is trustworthy, He won’t bring trials, traumas or tragedies into my life. What makes Him trustworthy is that He remains with me throughout every circumstance and gives me everything I need not only to survive but to thrive. And He brings good out of every situation. If I back off from God when one of these happens in my life, my trust in Him starts to fade and fears take over.

I also think of Philippians 4:6 when I’m tempted to give in to fear: “Do not fret or have anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.”

And then comes the promise of peace in verse 7. I like the words in brackets in the Classic Amplified version of the Bible, which defines peace.

“And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (AMPC)

The instructions in these verses give me a remedy for fear. My problem can be that I choose to ignore them. I need to seek God, trust God, choose not to fear and pray about everything.  The result of following these instructions is that He will help and strengthen me, I will be delivered from fear, and I will have peace that God can be trusted.

Over the past several years, my goals center on trusting God more. In order to do that, I must as the song title suggests, break up with fear. And I need to keep aware of fear trying to creep back into my heart.

So right now I give God my fears—about the publishing process in regard to my book, about my aging parents, about loved ones who making unwise choices, about the prodigals I pray for, about those I know and love who refuse to let God into their hearts and lives even when dire consequences take place, about those who reject me…

God doesn’t want me to face these circumstances on my own. And He doesn’t want me to have fear about them.

Today I choose to trust God and receive His peace.

How about you?

The Breakup Song by Francesca Battistelli

PS Sing along with the song when the singer gives the instruction. It’s freeing.


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Letting Go of Cons

Recently I talked to a friend who feels hopeless about her marriage. During our conversation these words which expressed her frustration stood out to me:

“I just can’t control what he’s doing.”

I thought how often that has been a frustration in my relationships.

I confess I have often tried to control the other person when what they did bothered me. But what I’ve learned along the way is that I can’t control what the other person does, but I can control my reaction to it.

As I thought about this, some other words which begin with “con” came to my mind. I realized when I feel overwhelmed by my inability to control others, instead of having a godly response, I can fall into the trap of these three additional “con” words.

The first one is condescension. I begin to look down on the other person and view their behavior as so much worse than anything I would ever do. The conclusion I come to is: “I’m better than you.” Condescension is fueled by pride and goes against God’s instruction to “in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3 ESV)

The second word that came to mind is contention. I looked up the word and read this: “heated disagreement.” Some of the synonyms listed were: dispute, argument, discord, conflict, friction, strife, dissension, disharmony.” When I think of the word contention this verse comes to mind: “It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman” Proverbs 21:9 NASB

The third word which came to my mind that can flow from frustration over not being able to control, was condemnation. The dictionary defines the word this way: “the expression of very strong disapproval; censure; the action of condemning someone to a punishment; sentencing.” Synonyms for condemnation are: criticism, denunciation, vilification, reproof.

As I contemplated these three words, condescension, contention, and condemnation, I saw that my friend was engaged in all three. I realized, too, that often I let these three “cons” be my reaction to not being able to control people in my life, especially my husband, my children, and my grandchild.

I thought more about this and wondered how I could react differently.

Three other words came to mind. These words started with “com.” They are communication, compassion, and comfort.

How different these words are from the first three, and what a difference they make in my relationships when I embrace them.

My contemplation on this subject continued, and I thought that sometimes the One I can’t control is God. And when I can’t get Him to do what I want Him to do, I can react with condescension and contention. I confess I sometimes act as if I know better than God and at times I contend with Him to try to get Him to do my bidding. So far I haven’t condemned God, but that’s what people do when they lose their faith in God and refuse to connect to Him.

I’m glad I had my conversation with this friend. I learned how often I can have a bad reaction when I feel frustrated that I can’t control the negative behaviors of others or God allowing negative circumstances into my life.

Instead of doing the three cons: condescension, contention, or condemnation, I can choose communication (with God communicating is prayer, which I neglect when I’m in the trap of being upset that God allowed trials, traumas, or tragedies), compassion, and comfort. Although I never considered before the act of being compassionate toward God or offering comfort to Him, when I’m pleasing Him by trusting Him, perhaps I am doing just that.

God lavishes these three on me on a regular basis as I draw close to Him—even when I’ve blown it.

That’s what I suggested to my friend–drawing close to God. I offered to pray with her. She refused.

This thought hit me just now. I do feel frustrated that I can’t control her loss of faith in God–her falling from grace. But I refuse to give in to condescension, contention, or condemnation.

Lord, help me to continue to communicate with her, have compassion for her, and comfort her as she battles hopelessness.

Love & The Outcome–When We Love


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Too Blessed to Stay Depressed Repost

Lately I’ve battled depression. This came when I looked too long at the difficult circumstances in my life rather than on the beauty and wonder of the Lord. A few of the circumstances that kept my eyes too long are the unexpected death of a long-time friend of my husband’s and mine who had been healthy his whole life until two months before his sudden death, the continued rebellion of a loved one whose defiance affects my life and hurts hers, and continued rejection of the Lord by those who are in difficult situations but yet refuse to call out to Him.

Today I’m reposting a blog I wrote in June 2016 when I was caught in depression. Reading this again helped me to see how locking my gaze on the negative aspects of my life and this world can bring me down.

Keeping my eyes on the Lord lifts me up and even fills me with joy as I think about how good He has been to me.

I’ve changed the song at the end of the blog. I pray it and this blog bless your day.

This was first posted on June 13, 2016

Recently depression washed over me like a tidal wave.

What contributed to my being thrown down by this wave of sadness was receiving bad news from several sources: a friend’s daughter had suddenly become ill and was going to die, a cousin’s daughter’s boyfriend was killed in a car accident, someone had come to the home of a loved one and threatened him with a gun.

Then there were disturbing news stories–five bicyclists were killed by a hit and run driver in Michigan, a mother of four died while on the beach after an umbrella came out of the sand and was hurled through the air by the wind striking her in the chest triggering a heart attack and then death. Another disturbing news story was that of the Stanford Olympic-hopeful swimmer/rapist who, encouraged by his father, refused to take responsibility for his crime and seemed to view himself as a victim and showed no remorse. Then to add insult to her injury the judge gave him a light sentence.

My heart went out to the true victim who courageously confronted her rapist in the courtroom. This story brought back memories of my lack of courage when I was raped in my college years being given a date rape drug by someone I saw as a friend. I did not go to the police but instead blamed myself for being stupid and hanging out with someone I knew took drugs.

Also on this day of depression several people had rejected me in various ways. Add to that not sleeping very well in recent days.

Here I was on a staycation on Clearwater Beach getting “away” to complete some writing projects with my daughter (she’s a writer too), and instead of enjoying being in one of my favorite places on earth—near the beach—I began to wallow in self-pity.

My daughter was staying overnight at her house on this particular day, so being alone and feeling lonely added to the problem.

The bottom line is that I was focusing on negatives. I hadn’t prayed yet that day as thoughts of Why should I pray? My life is filled with unanswered prayers went through my mind. My Bible lay on the coffee table unopened when I usually read the Word every morning. Instead I had turned to the world’s food instead of the food of the Word to deal with my emotions, which caused me to sink deeper.

Working on my writing seemed impossible, and the passion I felt for my projects the day before dissolved into dust, and I even wondered if I was deluding myself as I wrote.

I should have known that the enemy was involved in this attack of depression. It seems that any time I sit down to write God’s truth, the enemy can be right there trying to fill my mind with lies. On this day, I let down my guard and listened.

Finally, I called out to God for help. On my computer, I typed out all the things that were bothering me and gave the list to the Lord. Blessings came to mind, and I rejoiced over how good God had been to me over the years. Instead of focusing on bad news, God turned my mind to the Good News of the Gospel and how it and He had transformed my life. Here is part of the prayer I wrote:

Lord, I give all of these issues to You. Please help me not to focus on the negative. Let me keep my focus on You rather than on my problems, the problems of people I love, and the problems of the church and of this world.

I recalled how earlier that week a reader of my blog had written telling me how deeply depressed she was. I confessed that before sending her words of encouragement, pride had entered in as I thought then how I could never sink that low again. Perhaps God had allowed this battle with depression to show me how easily I could succumb if I didn’t stay on guard and to give me compassion for those who battled ongoing severe depression.

It was already evening when I turned to the Lord, and I forced myself to go down to the pier/beach. I brought my guitar and played and sang God songs for the people walking by. I felt I was partly singing to myself the words I needed to hear:  “What a friend we have in Jesus, All our sins and griefs to bear. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. Oh what peace we often forfeit, Oh what needless pain we bear, All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer…”

Good things happened: there was a beautiful sunset. There was a rainbow. The ocean breezes encouraged me like the embrace of a close friend. I saw two street performer acts, which were good, and I laughed at the humor of these young men. A lady said she liked the “Jesus Is The Anchor of My Soul” shirt I was wearing.

The next morning after a time of reading the Word and prayer, I wrote, “Lord, I’m listening” and then the following came to my mind:


Once again I couldn’t help but think of the verse that often has come to mind on the other side of a bout with depression, which David wrote on the other side of his (See verses 1-4):

I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me. Psalm 13:6

“Trust in You” by Lauren Daigle

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His Love Never Fails Repost

Lately I feel frustrated again because I’m unable to get others to do the right thing. God brought me to a blog I wrote in July of 2012. He reminded me that I am not a failure because I can’t get others to do right, but I fail when I don’t allow His love to flow through me to the person who refuses to follow Him.

Please read this repost of that blog.

His Love Never Fails

First posted on July 3, 2012

“I am a failure.” Those were the words that paraded through my mind.

I brought these words to the Lord and asked, “Is that true?”

This is what came. You could not get this person to love you at the moment, but that does not make you a failure.

Then the Lord convinced me my goal is not to get others to love me or to do the right thing. Instead it is to love others. The verse that comes to mind is:

…Love each other as I have loved you. (John 15:12 NIV 1984)

If I pray for the Lord’s love to flow through me to others, this is what I know: His love never fails.

I confess I’ve been at it again—attempting to get people to do the right things, to believe the right things, to give themselves fully to the Lord. And once again I feel like I’m failing miserably. They’re not budging. Their love affairs with the world are too enticing for them to let go.

So that’s when my “I am a failure” thought came recently. I was with one of these people that I’m in the habit of trying to fix. There was a specific “right thing to do” at that moment, which I encouraged this individual to do. Instead of responding positively to my urging, the person declared by their action, “No, I’d rather do the wrong thing. That rule about the right thing in this situation applies to other people and not to me.”

I couldn’t help but think about what our pastor had taught recently—that in order for people to live with themselves and go on doing wrong things, they just redefine what’s right and what’s wrong.

I do spend time trying to define to others what is right based on the Word of God.  What a waste of breath, I’m realizing, because they just say, “I define that issue differently than you do.” It feels so wrong to me when they say that—like someone declaring, “I don’t care what the dictionary says. This is how I define that word.”

After my conflict with the individual who sees right and wrong differently than I do in so many areas, and yet proclaims to be a Christian, I spent time alone thinking and praying. God convinced me once again that my words will not change this person’s mind. God’s Word will—when the person decides to turn there and listen.

Sometimes God allows His truth to flow through me to others, but in this case He’s showing me that’s not going to work.  I can pray, but I’m not to “say,” so God can speak to this stubborn soul. I am to show mercy, and be kind and loving—even if this person isn’t kind, loving, and merciful toward me.

And I am to hold to this—that God isn’t calling me to get “difficult” people to love me or to do the loving or the right things, but He’s calling me to love others the way He loves me.  I’m still learning how to be successful at that.

Lord, continue to teach me how to love like You do. Here I am– Your willing student, wanting to do the right thing.

Will you join me in praying that prayer?


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Remind Me Who I Am Repost

Not long ago someone I love called me a name. She said she did it out of anger, but it still hurt deeply. It seemed to me you only use that word with people you hate. I looked up the definition of this word and read: “an irritating or contemptible person.”

Is that what I am? I wondered. Then I looked up contemptible and read: “Deserving contempt; despicable.” Other synonyms for contemptible are: detestable hateful, reprehensible deplorable, disgraceful, shameful, low, mean, unworthy, worthless.”

It took me a while to reject what this person said about me and proclaim, “I don’t receive that,” like my Bible study teacher taught me.

A couple days ago, I ran across a blog from 2012 that spoke to the issue battled: being tempted to define myself by what others say I am rather than by what God says. Often the people who speak unkindly to me reject God or a truth He brings before they reject me. Such was the case with my loved one.

Here is that blog. Reading it lifted my spirits and even brought me joy as I was reminded how God sees me, and that how others define me doesn’t really matter.

I pray for this loved one that she will see herself as God sees her since I believe she feels bad about herself, which causes her to lash out at others. Lord, please remind her who she is.

Remind Me Who I Am Repost

First posted on June 18, 2012

Recently I read a blog written by a seeker of truth—someone who didn’t present himself as a born again Christian but who put some truth into what he wrote. One challenge he gave the reader was to explore the “I am” statements he says or thinks about himself throughout the day. The conclusion the blogger came to is that those statements may not be true.

I realized that I still slip into saying negative “I ams” when I’m having a bad day: I am a failure. I am a mess. I am not good enough.

Before I knew the Lord, when these statements came to mind, I believed them. And I allowed them to dictate how I lived.

After reading that blog, I left a comment:

“For years I defined who I was–mostly with negative statements about myself. Then I received Christ as my Savior, and He saved me not only from hell in the future but also from the present bondage and pain of these lies I had used for so long to define myself. Now I can be joyful and free as I embrace who He says I am. Sometimes I need to be reminded.”

Then I put the link to an Internet site I found that tells who I am in Christ. Here are a few reminders from that site:


 child John 1:12

 friend James 2:23

 chosen Ephesians 1:4

 beloved Romans 1:7/ 2 Thess 2:13

 precious jewel Malachi 3:17

 I AM…

 free forever from sin’s power Romans 6:14

 loved eternally 1 Peter 1:5 /

 not condemned Romans 8:1-2

 his sheep Ps 23 / Psalms 100:3/ John 10:14

 a citizen of heaven 1 Peter 2:11

A couple of days later, a friend sent me a link to the song “Remind Me Who I Am” by Jason Gray. I had heard the song before but because of reading the blog and then receiving and listening anew to Jason’s song, I decided God wanted to remind me who I am in Him.

Perhaps it’s because as I go through the valley of suicide grief I have had some “I am” thoughts that aren’t true ie “I am a failure because I didn’t save my brother’s life,” and “I am not loved by God because He allowed this to happen to a member of my family.”

Today I am holding to who and what God says I am. All of them wrapped together come down to the most significant which is “I am eternally loved by Him.” No circumstance, no fault of mine, no words or actions of others can change that fact. Now there’s a reason to celebrate.

How about you? Do you define who you are and/or allow others to do so? Are you ready to fully embrace the “I am” truths God is holding out to you and to all who belong to Him?

If You are not born again but would like to be so that all of these “I am” statements will apply to you, say this prayer poem written by Billy Graham:

Jesus, You died upon a cross/And rose again to save the lost/Forgive me now of all my sin/Come be my Saviour, Lord, and Friend. Change my life and make it new/And help me Lord/to live for You.

Link to “I am” lists:

Link to “Remind Me Who I Am” by Jason Gray:


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