“I am a failure.” Those were the words that paraded through my mind.
I brought these words to the Lord and asked, “Is that true?”
This is what came. You could not get this person to love you at the moment, but that does not make you a failure.
Then the Lord convinced me my goal is not to get others to love me or to do the right thing. Instead it is to love others. The verse that comes to mind is:
…Love each other as I have loved you. (John 15:12 NIV 1984)
If I pray for the Lord’s love to flow through me to others, this is what I know: His love never fails.
I confess I’ve been at it again—attempting to get people to do the right things, to believe the right things, to give themselves fully to the Lord. And once again I feel like I’m failing miserably. They’re not budging. Their love affairs with the world are too enticing for them to let go.
So that’s when my “I am a failure” thought came recently. I was with one of these people that I’m in the habit of trying to fix. There was a specific “right thing to do” at that moment, which I encouraged this individual to do. Instead of responding positively to my urging, the person declared by their action, “No, I’d rather do the wrong thing. That rule about the right thing in this situation applies to other people and not to me.”
I couldn’t help but think about what our pastor had taught recently—that in order for people to live with themselves and go on doing wrong things, they just redefine what’s right and what’s wrong.
I do spend time trying to define to others what is right based on the Word of God. What a waste of breath, I’m realizing, because they just say, “I define that issue differently than you do.” It feels so wrong to me when they say that—like someone declaring, “I don’t care what the dictionary says. This is how I define that word.”
After my conflict with the individual who sees right and wrong differently than I do in so many areas, and yet proclaims to be a Christian, I spent time alone thinking and praying. God convinced me once again that my words will not change this person’s mind. God’s Word will—when the person decides to turn there and listen.
Sometimes God allows His truth to flow through me to others, but in this case He’s showing me that’s not going to work. I can pray, but I’m not to “say,” so God can speak to this stubborn soul. I am to show mercy, and be kind and loving—even if this person isn’t kind, loving, and merciful toward me.
And I am to hold to this—that God isn’t calling me to get “difficult” people to love me or to do the loving or the right things, but He’s calling me to love others the way He loves me. I’m still learning how to be successful at that.
Lord, continue to teach me how to love like You do. Here I am– Your willing student, wanting to do the right thing.
Will you join me in praying that prayer?
Only one Messiah…Jesus, not Jane. And the Holy Spirit is the convictor, not me. Oh, just to love and not judge. Your article is a great reminder. Thanks, Elaine.
Elaine, you are strumming my pain with your words. So many people will never acknowledge their failures but they want everyone else to pay for theirs. If we keep trying to work where we are not called we are wasting our time and God’s time. Lord, help me to learn to trust you with these difficult people and go on and enjoy my life. Love the honesty in your writing.
i wonder what you think of this……….i take care of my brother is is mildly mentally challenged, has heart problems, and is suffering with Parkinson’s. For the past couple of months he has been telling me God has been coming to him saying his time is near. my brother reads his bible almost all day long and two days ago he said god came again and told him it was going to be very soon that he would b coming for him……..your thoughts please. this is painful for me as his sister to watch him suffer and know he wants to die
Dear Terry, It’s painful to watch others suffer, but I rejoice that your brother is continuing to seek God in the midst of it. I do believe God could be communicating to him to give him comfort and remind him of his home in heaven–that better place beyond this suffering. As far as the “very soon”–even if he dies years from now, it’s just a short time away in light of eternity. The verses that come to mind are 2 Corinthians 4:16-17: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are acheiving for us an eternal glory that outweighs them all.” (NIV 1984) Yes, God does say that these earthly troubles are light and momentary compared to the glory of heaven. I pray you will receive comfort and strength from God during this difficult time. I think of the saying, “God never wastes our pain.” By writing your blogs, you are helping others in hard times. You have inspired me today. Take care and God bless. Elaine