“Stand, and I’m going to sing over you,” Dennis Jernigan invited recently at a gathering in Odessa.
I stood and asked the Lord what more I needed to be freed from. Two things came to mind: “shame” and “the lie of lesser love.”
These two went together. God had released me from being addicted to shame, but still when things went wrong in life and heart-breaking circumstances arose—like the one that had come upon our family in recent months–shame would come back again.
Tied to the shame was the lie of lesser love. This wrong belief proclaimed that because it seemed to my hurting soul I had more trials and traumas than someone else, there was just one possible conclusion: “He loves her more” or as applied to myself, “He love me less.”
He loves me less because He answered her prayer quickly, and I’ve been praying for years.
He loves me less because she does not have the struggles in relationships that I do.
He loves me less because he seems to bless her more in this area.
I knew the comparing which ignited the lesser love lie was wrong, and I asked God to release me from that.
Years ago I believed God did not love me at all. It was time for me to fully believe that God loves me just as much as He loves others. Lies about God’s love originated because of circumstances when I was growing up. Already as I had listened to Dennis’s music over the years and had heard him in person a couple of other times, much healing had taken place in the heart of the “hurt child” within.
Yet I was glad to receive more.
I let the truths of the song Dennis sang wash over me. Ironically the title of the song “It’s Gonna Be Alright” was similar to a song the Lord had given me years ago when trials seemed overwhelming. My song was “Everything Will Be Alright.”
As I listened, I let go of shame and renounced the lie of “lesser love,” and thanked God for the love He lavished on me. I saw that others could look at the many blessings in my life and think that perhaps God loved me more. I was reminded we all have our struggles. The Lord showed me all the good and all the growth that had come as a direct result of these problems I wanted to go away quickly.
I felt assured He would bring good out of the current struggles. He already had—helping me to trust Him more and helping me to release the situation and the people involved to Him. He reminded me that the closeness I felt to Him which others seemed at times not to have was because of my drawing near to Him during the trials and traumas I had faced over the years—just as Dennis’s trials and traumas which he had just shared had caused him to draw close to the Lord. This resulted in him being a godly man who brought words of hope and healing everywhere he went.
As tears came, I thought that I wanted to be like Dennis and continue to allow God to use the bad things that happened in my life for good—to receive more healing and then bring others hope and healing. I was assured once again that’s why God had called me to work with the mentally ill. He had healed me from depression—even though the battle arose now and again–and then He used me to bring hope to others.
As I reflect on that day and my sense of closeness to God there, I’m grateful for all the Lord has brought me through over the years and for how He has used people like Dennis to bring me to moments of healing. And I remember Dennis speaking of a favorite verse about God’s love that day. It cheers me just to think of it: “…he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17 ESV)
Here’s a link to the song sung by Dennis that day. You might want to consider closing your eyes and allowing him/Him to sing this song over you.
“It’s Gonna Be Alright” by Dennis Jernigan